Wednesday, August 7, 2013


Monday my little cousin graduated from nursing school. I am so proud of her. As we were leaving I saw one of the people who had come to see her graduate. This person had some sort of brain tumor that made her go blind; as I saw her it began to pull at my heart and I heard the Lord say that if I could get to the point that I am fully flowing in my gifting that he would heal through me. Last night I dreamed that my family had gone somewhere God had told me not to go but because they were there I went. I really did not want to go to the event...I wanted to be with my family. As I type I am reminded of a reoccurring childhood dream (I mean I had this dream more times than I can count) in the dream my family and I were in a field running and laughing but I could only get so close to them, there was a line (not visible but we knew it was there) I couldn't cross and they couldn't cross; every now and then we all would look sad because we could not fully be together but would continue to run and play. In the dream I had last night I went to the event knowing I shouldn't have been there. I looked around feeling awkward and thinking to myself "I shouldn't be here" but then I would turn back to my family and laugh and talk. In the beginning of the dream we were inside, then all of a sudden we were outside and a huge wave came over us...people were being washed away. I grabbed a man and I pulled him and I into the building and I kept screaming "Lord I'm Sorry". The dream felt like a Jonah experience; the people in the dream weren't necessarily doing right but when I went where I knew God did not want me to go my disobedience brought judgment to all that were around me. People argue that we all go through the same things and I believe that is true to a certain whom much is given much is required and God may hold you to a certain standard that he doesn't hold everyone to; the high  priest in the old testament was the only one that could go into the Holy of Holies. The beauty in that though is that if you can keep your hands clean and live holy and be in the will of God he will do great and mighty things for you and through you.

1 Samuel 15:22 KJV

And Samuel said , Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.

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